2/5/09

well, I had a quiz a while back over some material that I had not AT ALL covered, and I managed to get nearly HALF of the answers right. That's still a terrible grade, but I'm impressed at my genius intelligent guessing skills! wahhahaha.
Computer class is ok. Still feeling great that I got a 78 when everyone else failed. Not that I'm glad they failed, thats lame :( , and I think my teach will curve the grades- he's got to do something. That was a crazy test with material we really had not done. But it just made me feel for the first time that I was back on the road to dominating, even the slightest bit, in the academic game. No, I'm not competitive at ALL!teehheeheesarcasm.

My face is kind of hurting due to sinus pressure or something insane. Don't understand where the pain is coming from.

I'm having some psycho emotions this week. I explained to Whitney that somehow suddenly all the things I was focused on and working on went out the window. I'm walking around and hanging out and having so much fun feeling like everything is great, but somehow I know in me things are not fine. I feel like God's whispering or prodding for me to see something underneath but... that layer of deep heart questions, dissapointments, whatever, in me is being buried by stuff it seems, and I can't get through!!! I feel like I'm in some kind of spell where someTHING is altering everything I experience, or like a gloss is over my world or something. Lord, help me, help me see You, clean me of whatever is in the way because I know I can't see you right and I can't see me right either. Show me your truth.

Now, I love how some of the more... unique?... people at my school have dubbed Thursday as dress-up day. This is thoroughly entertaining and I really want to join their club on that account. I want to dress up too!

Today I had a burrito and an egg roll for lunch... I feel so ethnic.

part two. so, I really feel I've lost sight of the goal. Today I said to God, ''where are you?". I didn't so much mean that I didn't feel Him near, but more, 'where are we going' cuz things are looking really weird the last few days. And by today, well, I almost did feel a distance between us. I know He's not gone anywhere though, it's all the business of my soul mixing up the signals. Sounds like some prayer combined with fasting is in order. It's been a while since I've done some purposeful fasting. Lord, draw me in.